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Science

There’s No Such Thing as Inclement Weather, There’s Just Inclement People

Marty Migratorybirdpath -
Human clouds are raining droplets of lament and woe.
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Society?

Not Making Any Friends? Try Talking About the Weather More Often

Jacob Fox-Smalls-Kevin -
Stiff, uninspired small talk will be your key to success.
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Crime

Crime Rate in Winnipeg Hits 100% – Lowest It’s Been in a Decade

Hellen St. Helens Hellenson -
Things are getting less bleak in Winnipeg, at least from a personal safety perspective, as crime rates continue to slide.
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Business

House Husband Looking to Make Career Move – Considers Becoming Stay-at-Home Dad

T. Henry Montrose -
Climbing the domestic ladder can involve longer hours, but can it lead to the same lack of fulfillment?
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Society?

Jesus Murphy Wants People to Stop Using His Name in Vain

Marty Migratorybirdpath -
Jesus Henry Murphy is a mild-mannered watch salesman from Winnipeg. And he’s fed up.
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Business

New Retro Phone Cord Automatically Twirls Around Your Finger When That Cute Boy Finally Calls

Enid "Sandman" Sanderson -
Available for eleven cents from Phone Supply, this self-wrapping cord will provide some retro flair for those painfully lonely nights.
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Society?

Report: Every Day There Are People That Have to Go to Sleep, and Wake Up, Knowing That They’re in Saskatchewan

Deanst -
A place where dreams don’t go to die, but go to retire, and then die.
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It's not real news, but don't you wish it were?

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