Marty Migratorybirdpath

Bonjour, my name is Marty. I was ejected from the womb in 1979, and have spent the last 8 years of my life in pursuit of an undergraduate degree in Suburban Studies from the University of Northern State - Online. I hope you enjoy the morsels of journalism I leave across this site.


There’s No Such Thing as Inclement Weather, There’s Just Inclement People

Human clouds are raining droplets of lament and woe.

Jesus Murphy Wants People to Stop Using His Name in Vain

Jesus Henry Murphy is a mild-mannered watch salesman from Winnipeg. And he’s fed up.

Local Grandfather Set to Release Book About How Disappointed He is With Your Life Choices

His book, titled "Kids These Days, I Swear to Christ" is set for release next month.

Report: People Seem to Be Driving Carts to The Store Instead of Normal Vehicles

They may not look fast, but they'll get you nowhere in a hurry.

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Like your own virtual newspaper boy, but without the bicycle, errant throwing and broken windows.