There’s No Such Thing as Inclement Weather, There’s Just Inclement People

I’m always curious about what people think when the weather man gives his daily guess. Do they look forward to a ‘50% chance of rain’ as an opportunity to binge watch something on Netflix that will surely be cancelled after its second season?

Or, do they think ‘mostly sunshine’ means ‘mostly a lie’, since it’s probably going to piss.

In order to satisfy my curiosity I started a Facebook group from which I could springboard some research. After several months of inviting people to join and nibble at my queries, I’ve finally found some takers. Here are my findings:

Teena Tribble

“Rain’s the worst. Then again, when you’re like me and work at a mud quarry making less than minimum wage, everything’s the worst.”

Ernie Emmanuel 

“I don’t mind rain at all. It’s a great chance to murder people.”

Josephine Santos

“The weather doesn’t bother me all that much. It’s life that bothers me. Life, and one employee at my mud quarry who’s always complaining about fair wages and shit like that.”

Bunch of downers, hey?

As for me, I like when it rains, and when things get a little stormy. It can be a great chance to curl up and read some of my neighbour’s mail that was sent to me in error.

That reminds me, I need to tell Jeff his library card might be cancelled for not returning Twilight and New Moon on time. Crap, you know what? It’s probably been cancelled by now. I guess I’ll find out next time it rains. 

Marty Migratorybirdpath
Bonjour, my name is Marty. I was ejected from the womb in 1979, and have spent the last 8 years of my life in pursuit of an undergraduate degree in Suburban Studies from the University of Northern State - Online. I hope you enjoy the morsels of journalism I leave across this site.

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Like your own virtual newspaper boy, but without the bicycle, errant throwing and broken windows.