Pet Insurer Denies Claim for Harold the Dog’s Dental Work, Circumcision

Times are tough, and the Jenkins household is no exception. At their house, money is in high demand and short supply. 

Then there’s Harold, their prized pug, who hasn’t been holding up his end of the bargain lately. On the one hand, he needs dental work yesterday. On the other hand, he will almost certainly have a tougher time washing his penis as he gets older if it remains in its natural state.

Unfortunately for the Jenkins family, their preemptively submitted insurance claim was denied for both of the procedures, and the $45 in their savings account isn’t likely to cover much of the work. 

If they can come up with a little bit more money, they’ll have a tough decision to make. Not having a circumcision performed would seriously cripple Harold’s ability to express himself sexually, while a lack of dental hygiene will affect how he’s treated by his peers at kibble luncheons, and other social events. 

Hopefully they’ll be able to raise enough money to look after both of these needs, but for now, all they can do is take Harold for a long walk, and remind him that he’s a good boy. 

Hellen St. Helens Hellenson
Hellen (or “Helen”, to her friends) brings a bunch of experience to the Chronicle. None of it, unfortunately, has anything to do with journalism. However, she’s confident that her expertise in lawnmower repair theory will help her cut down the green blades of opportunity in her new field.

Subscribe to The Ironical Chronicle

How's this for a deal - we'll send you the newest news, for free.

Free News Giveaway!Get The Ironical Chronicle delivered to your inbox weekly

Like your own virtual newspaper boy, but without the bicycle, errant throwing and broken windows.