Report: There Might Be A New and Exciting Snack in the Fridge Since You Checked 5 Minutes Ago, and 10 Minutes Ago

You just checked the fridge a few minutes ago but saw nothing. Absolutely nothing of value was in there. Just some dirty old sauces, questionably edible leftovers, and a mess of unripened fruit. Your eyes didn’t deceive you…but your alarm company did.

Turns out that in the time that elapsed since you last checked, some generous and slippery bastard broke into your house. Instead of robbing you blind, they left the perfect snack in your fridge. Then, just as mysteriously as they came, they left. 

Who was it? Who knows. Why did they do it? Who cares.

They snuck past your guard cat, opened your ridiculous smart fridge, and placed a golden package there-within. What is it? Whatever you want it to be. It’s your craving. 

Something salty? Maybe. Something sweet? Perhaps. Something savoury? Guess we’ll find out. And we’ll find out together. 

So tuck your midnight boner into the waistline of your Simpsons PJ’s, and get back to the fridge get the snack you so desperately don’t need, and probably don’t deserve. 

Wait…what’s that? Shit, looks like they took the signed Gretzky rookie card from your home office, and your wife’s wedding ring that was left on the counter. Oh well, that was a Hell of a sandwich, wasn’t it? 

Gerald Fuh
Gerald is an award winning writer of animal poetry. When not taking pen to paper, he sells drugs.

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